A New Beginning
by The Day I Return
Summary: Steve Rogers has been feeling a little down lately, and plans on doing something about it. Tony is oblivious about it until Steve goes through with what he had planned. Warning! Contains triggering content.


The world was difficult for Steve Rogers sometimes. Alien invasions. Death. Love. Hate. Friendships. HYDRA. He longed and ached for the simpler of times when he was just a scrawny kid from Brooklyn, yet here he was fighting for what's right and saving people almost daily. Today had proved to one of the difficult days for Steve. A small invasion of robots that some toy maker invented, escaped from his guard after a lighting storm had struck them. The robots were about the height of a thirteen year old girl. Get a whole bunch of those running around and, well. It's a mess. Steven had messed up when he ordered Clint and Natasha to go protect the civilians. When he did he was left alone with about twenty juiced up toy robots. He got lucky since Stark had managed to come to his rescue.  
"Steve..." Tony called the captain's name out tenderly, his eyes fixed on the male as he paced back and forth in the common room of the Stark, also known as, Avengers tower. Steve had been acting...off for the past few weeks, and Tony wasn't sure how to approach it. His hazelnut eyes finally got tired of watching the blond pace around so he decided to approach the man with the perfect teeth. "What were you doing out there, Cap? You almost got yourself and the others killed." Tony's forehead wrinkled when he brought his brow up into a furrow, hands gently placing on the sides of Steve's face. He sought peace for a moment when he looked into those gorgeous baby blues.  
"Killed? I was trying to protect them. And you." Steve tried to sound serious, but his tone had fallen flat, sounding more exhausted than anything. He just wanted a valid excuse for feeling the need to..die. He leaned into Tony, resting his forehead on the other's shoulder. Cap had only allowed himself to show his vulnerable side to Tony, but that was a mutual understanding that they shared. "I made a simple mistake, okay. It won't happen again." Steve said softly, placing a kiss to Tony's neck gently before he stepped away from him. There was a moment of silence, Steve just staring at Tony. "I love you, Tony. I hope you know that." The blond chuckled, looking down at the floor shyly. "I do, big guy. I-same here." Tony stepped forward, taking Steve's hand into his own. "Don't do shit like that, Rogers." Steve simply nodded and kissed the man's lips.  
After a lovely time of carnal relations with Tony, Steve rose up, reading the time from the clock on the wall, it read: 5:25 AM. Steve rubbed his face with the palm of his hands and sighed softly. He glanced over his shoulder and took in a sleeping Stark. The way his lips partly gaped open, the creases on his face from resting on the pillow. He was beautiful. Everything Steve needed, yet...he couldn't stop the feeling of wanting to die. To just give up and let the fair escape of death take him in.  
The captain went to his closet that he shared with Tony and put something nice on. A navy blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and buttoned neatly. A nice pair of khaki pants with black dress shoes. Steve glanced at the reflection he saw in the bathroom mirror, watching the transparent tears fall slowly down the sides of his slightly rosy cheeks. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't be Captain America. He couldn't be someone the people wanted him to be. He couldn't feel the way he used to. He couldn't see the light in the future. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't be himself. Dark thoughts always clouded his judgements. Always. Now, he wasn't going to..go through with the deed because of a few measly robots. It was because he was just done. Done with the world.  
Steve took out a pen and some paper, writing the love of his life a four paged paper that was filled on both sides about his explanation on ending it. At the bottom of the paper, he wrote I Love you In real big letters. He silently started to sob at that point. The blond neatly folded up the letter and slid it inside an envelope. He grabbed the gun from the dresser drawer and walked into the bathroom. His blue eyes meeting his own in the reflection again. Tony would be better off without him. They all would be.  
He aimed for his chest, pointing the end of the gun at his heart. Steve chuckled softly, Tony's voice echoing throughout his head, telling him he should, 'Watch out for that pretty face of his.' He swallowed thickly, heart pounding against his chest then pulled the trigger. Tony immediately woke up after hearing the sound of a gun go off. He fell onto the floor , bringing the silky sheets from the bed down with him. Stark got up quickly once he realized Steve wasn't in the bed anymore. "Steve!" Tony called out for the man he loved, his voice harsh and gruff. There was no answer. The man had calmed down, thinking it was just a nightmare.  
Tony causally walked over to put on a pair of boxers and a shirt when he turned around, that's when he noticed the envelope with his name on it, sitting on a small desk. He rose his brow in a curious nature and picked up the white envelope then opened it. He scanned through the words, tears spilling out from his eyes. He stood there in shock, holding the letter out in his hand, trembling. Hazel eyes turning slowly to stop at the bathroom door. He quickly ran over after dropping the letters onto the floor, they scattering about. One landed next to Steve's mask and shield. Another one landing next to an empty bottle of scotch. One had managed to land on top of the silky sheets that were on the floor. The last one didn't really scatter about, it just fell back onto the desk, landing next to a picture of the team.  
The genius halted himself at the door, watching as dark red blood seeped out from underneath the door. He quickly opened the door and found Steve laying on the floor with a hole in his chest, blood pooling out from the wound. "Damn it, Rogers!" Tony cursed as he held onto the lifeless blond, cradling him to his chest. He pressed his forehead against the other's, sobbing. "No, no,no.." Tony repeated over and over as he rocked the limp body, holding him tightly. "What were you thinking..." He shook his head from side to side. "You should have came and talked to me, baby."  
A fight against death took over Tony, his Iron Man suit flying to him as he got inside of it. He picked up Steve and took off flying down the hallway of the tower, going to the medical bay. "I love you, and I still need you, Cap." Tony whispered. Once he reached the medical bay, Tony noticed the color of Steve's skin once nurses laid him out on a stretcher. He was pale, and his once luscious pink lips were..blue. He watched as a nurse checked for a heartbeat on his neck but detected nothing. Tony screamed, "Please, don't leave me!" He yelled over and over. A doctor pronounced him dead to Stark.  
Tony just nodded his head and walked to the room they had Steve in. The wound on his chest was sewn up at least. Tony kissed his forehead, his skin was cool to the touch and he ran his fingers through the golden blond locks, tears falling from his eyes and landing on the mans forehead. He couldn't escape this nightmare. Standing up straight, he looked down at Steve again. "I love you, big guy."


End file.
